My meandering ways to SPJAIN - Memories talk...

No matter how much I may persuade myself to get a business mould and rely on 'stable facts & figures',my basic nature remains loyally inclined to 'floating dreams'....Way back in school,when the class remained suffocated with scorching heat and tales of World war 2,my usual engagement was to drift to another world with visions of how I would make my last educational degree the most enjoyable part of my life.Everytime i wasnt able to escape punishment for not doing my moral science homework( one of the things they do best in a girls convent), everytime i was caught for remaining perennially absent on saturdays ( i didnt like my saturday white uniform ), everytime i was top on the list of most indisciplined students despite being a class prefect ( thanks to democracy and popular votes ),everytime i got 0/5 for attendance in college ( i counted myself in the "newton club" - never attend classes ), everytime i chose not to torture god with the school anthem(opera) and gave in to the latest "kaho na pyaar hai" songs in the assembly line and was caught and asked for the school diary to write complaints to my parents and evertime i couldnt even find that .....all these times i took a silent resolve - "I would redo all these things sometime in the future when i am smarter and freer - and will do it successfully without being caught"......

The more sensible plans of how should i steer my career were either left to destiny or family.But gradually as i was forced out of my "ignorance is bliss" mode and to be a driver of my own life, i set my ultimate detination as MBA ( thinking it would make me both smarter and freer ) ....Given my fickle mind and overactive imagination, success on the professional front before MBA had more been a result of impulsive passion and inherited grey cells in good working condition rather than burning the midnight oil ( a fact of which i was very proud of till recently)....
Commonly known as " the combination of fun with brains" amongst friends and acquaintances, i kept myself busier in maintaining my sense of humour than sharpening my brains,thinking thats where my USP lay....So the MBA preparation time which ideally should have been invested in Solving Data Interpretation sets and reading english passages was actually spent chit chatting to friends,counselling people on their career paths ( imitating a saint who preaches without practice and likewise )....God chose to ignore this mistake of mine and i did not feel the punishment deserved as i got my CAT/XAT percentiles.

The interviews started.Having been titled as the "debator of the year" and "paper presentation champion" in college and school,my approach towards GD/PI would have forced Oxford dictionary to rewrite the definition of "overconfidence".One call that i really looked forward to converting was XLRI.The fifteen days that i worked for it was indeed burining the midnight oil when it had 50% extra oil free.My interview there was one of the best interviews i could ever have but the group discussion was a fish market in which even the fishes spoke !!!!! Irrespective I continued dreaming myself being a part of it ( and listening to "XL ki kudiyaan very very smart") banking upon the fact that "hard work pays" completely forgetting that 'hard work of 15 days vs. leisure of 7 months may not pay".The results were out before i had my Spjain interview. I WAS WAITLISTED !!!!!!!

My CV had always boasted of "getting what i wanted" ( another thing that i was too lazy to want things often enough )... I had failed the test and it was a big blow to my "less work,more results" image as well as to my confidence.
The night before my SPjain(Finance) interview,for the first time i put restraints on dreams and imaginations and for the first time i thought "i WILL fail".... The only thing i asked my family to do the next morning was to pray that panel thinks me capable enough to stay there from 9 am to 3 pm rather than me coming home at 11 am itself - only if i could manage the first round ( God must have been happy, i was in the process of learning my lesson) ....

The first round started.7 guys, i was happy to be the odd one out but not when the panel exclusively selected me for rigorous cross questioning (i love cross questioning but usually when my opponent sits on a chair with the same height as mine).Apart from this there was another very interesting aspect to this experience of mine.
We were given to hold a mini group discussion on Road Rage.The discussion had no speaking fishes but still one had to jump at opportunities to speak.A guy ( i will call him Mr.X) did not say anything in the group discussion.After the GD when he was asked about his decision to stay away from the discussion, he directly stares at me and says " It wasnt exactly a discussion, people were fighting to speak and creating noise,i did not want to add to the chaos" - ( my heart strings did a little topsy turvy - did i come out as aggressive ? )....The interview ended. We come out.
Mr.X looks at me with angry looks in his eyes and tells "How much do you speak, cant you keep quiet" .... My childhood habit of never surrendering to what i think is wrong came to my rescue and i immediately responded with " I thought we were called to speak our mind out and be proactive in capturing that opportunity, not to wait for the panelists to read minds" but internally it was a total blow to my left over confidence.
Convinced of my failure,i called up family,friends and everyone i could think of to say that i have failed the first round ( i was basically trying to convince myself that i had failed,something in me still refused to believe it).The results came out "I was in,Mr.X was out" - originally the devellish streak in me would have rejoiced the latter news but the heavens were teaching and i was learning.I just felt relieved.
The second round started.Competition was unimaginable.Initially the answers i gave werent earning a good response from the panelists.Everyone else's answer evoked a "good' or even "very good" from them.I had to satisfy myself with a "fair enough" that too on rare occassions.I tried to ignore it and carry on but then i realized that the professors wanted to hear me last.Everytime i expressed interest in answering first an open ended question, he signalled me to have patience and heard everyone else before coming to me.I was so convinced by now that i am already out.

Post interview,i started filling journalism forms.i did not want to go to any other b-school,whenever anyone persisted i would only quote the famous saying "that if i settle for less than i deserve,i would deserve less than i settled for".I wasnt waiting for the results but i often used to wonder when would i get the results for the hard work i did for 15 days,then i answered myself that perhaps god had a balance sheet where the +15 was cancelled by the -22 years of misnotion about hard work...And i looked up to God, i could literally see him smiling , could not decipher out of mischief or in agreement.....

Results arrived.The moment my relatives told me of my name in the first list, the moment was numb.God did not carry a balance sheet.Even if a devil like me did "tapasya", god rewarded it.Few days after i converted XLRI too....
But what i had learnt during the SPJain admission process was a lesson for life and i decided to extend my lesson for another two years.... It has already started making me "smarter and freer" !!!!!!!!!

And for now my dreamy self is back, investing hours into digging pics of the institute and then fantasizing a walk by the lake ( for a native of dehradun,the small lake in a place like mumbai is a big comfort), a coffee in Bistro (the name itself does wonders) and roaming mumbai with a spjain t-shirt on ( would not mind some harmless boasting :P )...... and of course meeting all you people ...........................

PS: People who can endure the everlasting story above,a coffee treat for all of you is due in bistro ;)
Can't help mixing pleasure with business :)))